


Bring Me Back to Life

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Animal Death, Blind Character, Fundraisers, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:09:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he loses his seeing eye dog it seems like Jared’s life has ended.  He is heartbroken and he has lost his independence but he refuses to even think about having another dog.  What he didn’t count on was the determination of his mom and a certain Jensen Ackles who thinks he has just the dog to change Jared’s mind and heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bring Me Back to Life

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for kaelysta on LJ who very kindly bought me and donated to fandom aid.

It was late afternoon and the light in the study was already dim; the sun dipping beyond the horizon, shadows playing across the wall, last vestiges of brightness, glittering oranges and reds, a beautiful sight. 

Sherri padded silently across the thick carpet, her toes curling. She could feel the first nips of a winter chill and decided it would soon be time to switch on the heating. Her bare arms prickled and she rubbed them quickly trying to get the blood to flow.

Her son sat in his usual chair beside the picture window; he was facing the garden and a shaft of fading sunlight reflected on his tan skin. She could see the tears tracing pathways down his cheeks, clogging his thick lashes and smearing wetly under his eyes. Her heart clenched tight in her chest and she took in a breath, her hand hovering over his tense shoulder, her own tears too close to the surface to hold back.

“Jared . . . ,” she kept her voice soft so as not to startle him. “It’s getting late, come into the kitchen and have a coffee with me.”

He turned his head and, once again, she was struck by his beauty. It seemed odd that fate should gift such a face to one who could not see it and she shook her head slightly, unable to accept that life could be so cruel. She bent forward and brushed a lock of thick chestnut hair from his high forehead, watching as his hair tumbled in soft waves down his neck, and curling at his collar. His cheek bones were high and, when he smiled, they were gifted with dimples. His mouth was wide and his chin strong, the cleft in it reminding her of an old movie star she had once crushed on. His slanting multi-colored eyes gave no clue to the fact that he was blind. They were clear, undamaged. It wasn’t until he was nearly three months old that they had realized there was something wrong with them and their lives had changed forever.

“I’m not thirsty,” his voice was made gravel by his tears and she bent forward and wiped at his face like he was a child again. “I’m okay,” he added but it was clear he was lying, his very demeanor telling her a very different story.

“You know I hate to see you like this.” Her hand clutched at his shoulder then, feeling the broadness of it under her fingers. “Your dad said we could go and speak to the young man who ran the training kennels, we can get you a new. . . .”

Her voice trailed off as she stared at his face, his eyes bright again with unshed tears, throat working as he held them in as best he could.

“I’m not really ready yet,” he choked out. “He’s only just gone.”

She thought how unfair it was that someone so huge could be made so fragile by the death of a pet but she understood. Harley had been more than a dog, he had been Jared’s best friend and now he was gone, old age taking him finally, seventeen years and dying in his sleep. She huffed a wry laugh. Most humans would be glad of such an end but Harley; Harley had been more precious to her son than any human companion.  
****  
Jared had been thirteen when he had been accepted onto the program and had been given the tiny little bundle of fur who was to be his road to independence. Usually the dogs came trained but as Jared was still quite young they decided that dog and boy could be _trained_ together. 

The two bonded immediately and Sherri watched her son blossom from a shy and awkward teenager to a bright and confident man. Jared was always happy to stay at home with his family but the dog _forced_ him out. He would take Harley on endless walks and would come back pink cheeked and happy. Harley went with him everywhere, to school, to the cinema, to the gym, even to the swimming baths (although the line was drawn when it came to getting in the water). Under Jared’s care the dog learned all sorts of tricks and skills and under the dogs care Jared learned how to live.

Harley was there when Jared graduated and when he got his first job cataloguing braille books in the library. Harley watched when Jared got his first swimming medal and was even there for Jared’s prom. Sherri couldn’t have been happier to see her son so confident in his own skin and she was able to concentrate on her other two children and, when Jeff her eldest got married, her grandchildren too.

Now, at thirty, her son was a broken man, a shadow of himself eaten up with grief. It was to be expected of course but she had no idea the dog’s death would shatter Jared so much.

He had other friends of course; Chad one of his old college buddies, Misha the guy who had taught him braille, Katie a girl from his class and Brian a musician who was attempting to teach him the guitar. Sherri had contacted each one of them but Jared had refused to see his friends; she had watched him cry once too often but she was powerless, he was a grown man now and she was just an overprotective mom.

She had hoped that he might have met a nice girl and settled down; he might be blind but he was more than capable. He helped out with the junior swimming club and got on well with kids but he hadn’t seemed all that interested in girls and, even when he did go out on a date, it was usually because the girl had liked his damn dog. Sherri bit back tears again and poured herself a coffee lacing it liberally with scotch. All she wanted was to see that smile again, see those dimples but at the moment her son was lost to her.

****

Jensen wiped his hands and placed the wriggling puppy back amongst its whimpering siblings. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched them all snuggle back together, good natured biting and fighting as they settled into a huge pile of golden fur. A healthy litter was something to be celebrated and he counted today as a huge win.

He had been working for Guide Dogs of America for nearly twenty years and he loved it. He was a licensed trainer and very proud of that fact. He got pleasure from seeing a dog find an owner and vice versa. He kept every single letter of thanks that he received, both from his clients or their families, and he had so many folders that he needed a separate bookcase for them all.

His own sister had been born with limited sight and it had made him aware, from a very young age, how difficult life could be for anyone who was _different_. McKenzie had benefited from the Guide dog program and Jensen had been there when she had received her first dog. Seeing the joy on her face and seeing how much it meant to her was something Jensen would never forget and, as soon as he graduated from college, he decided he wanted to work for this most wonderful organization.

And here he was; mid-thirties, settled in his own apartment with a successful and rewarding career. He was happy, and content but he knew that his mom worried, constantly trying to _fix him up_ even though he so didn’t want to be _fixed_.

He wasn’t exactly out and proud; his friends knew of course but he’d kept it fairly quiet from his family. He wouldn’t deny it if directly asked (and he knew they would never directly ask) but, as far as the Ackle’s were concerned, what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

“Excuse me.”

He was broken from his reverie by someone coming in through the front door, the dogs whimpering and barking, and a sudden cacophony of noise. 

“Hey.” He walked out of his office to see a tall elegant lady standing next to the puppies, her eyes fond. “Pretty cute, huh?”

“Yes.” She lifted a gentle hand running it through the pup’s golden fur. “They’re lovely.”

She was an attractive woman in, Jensen guessed, her early sixties. She was smiling but her eyes were sad and Jensen felt a stab of something deep in his gut.

“Are you here to enquire about a dog?” 

He’d seen that look before; haunted, desperate, a mom trying to help one of her kids, a wife attempting to persuade her husband that a Seeing Eye dog was something that would aid both of them. He knew how stubborn people could be, how some of them refused to admit they needed any kind of help.

“Um . . . yes . . . but. . . .” The poor woman looked as if she might cry and Jensen took instant pity on her.

 

“Hey.” He guided her into his office and sat her on his most worn, most comfy leather chair. “Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes.” She was wiping her eyes on a well-used looking handkerchief. “Thank you.”

Jensen made his coffee strong and black and the woman seemed to appreciate this. She sipped at it gratefully, eye makeup smeared by her tears.

“I’m so sorry.” She dabbed at her face again. “I didn’t mean to . . . .”

“It’s okay.” Jensen leaned across the desk towards her. “I’m fairly used to it.”

“You get a lot of crying mom’s in here, then?”

“Oh yeah.” He shook his head fondly. “A lot – and dads too. And wives – sisters – husbands, you name it.” He sighed. “Some people take a little persuading.”

“It isn’t that.” She bowed her head. “My son, Jared, he’s had a dog since he was thirteen.”

“Oh.” Now that was unusual. “So how can I help?”

“His dog – Harley – died a month ago.” She was gently crying again, openly now. “And h-he’s . . . that dog was more than just a dog, he was everything to my son.”

Jensen swallowed; it was usual for dogs and owners to form a bond. It was different, more intense than a bond between a _normal_ person and their family pet. Seeing Eye dogs often gave their owners a window to a world that was sometimes off limits to them. They opened up a whole host of possibilities and they could and frequently did give that person their lives back.

“I’m sorry.” He handed her a tissue as her handkerchief looked wrecked. “Obviously they were close.”

“I know it isn’t usual but he’d had that dog for seventeen years,” she sighed. “They did everything together and it’s like he’s lost his independence, like he’s regressed. His dad wanted to bring him here, get a new one, you know do it fast like ripping off a Band-Aid.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. “But he won’t hear of it.”

Jensen knew she was looking to him to give her some answers, to help solve this and he wanted to, but he wasn’t sure how. He tried to imagine having a dog that long, he tried to imagine how this mystery guy felt and realized that it must feel like losing a limb. His heart went out to the mom too, she clearly wanted to do the right thing but she clearly didn’t know what the right thing actually was.

Then he remembered something and he found himself smiling.

“Can I take a name and address,” he asked, holding out his hand. “If I promise you I’m not going to do anything rash, will you trust me?”

“Yes.” There was hope dawning in her eyes. “Yes, I will.” She fumbled in her purse and handed him a card. On it was the name _Sherri Padalecki_ , and an address that wasn’t too far from his office.

“Give me a day or so.” He was already plotting. “And hopefully we can help your son.”

He saw the relief on her face, heard her intake of breath, tiny dimples appearing in her cheeks as a smile began to, hesitantly, form.

“Thank you.” She clutched at his hand, trusting him implicitly. “Thank you so much, Mr. . . . ?”

“Jensen.” He smiled back at her now. “Jensen Ackles,”

“Jensen,” she said and his name sounded like an answer to her prayers.

****

If he strained his ears he could almost hear the scratch of claws on the linoleum, lowering his hand instinctively, fingers searching fruitlessly for soft fur and a rough tongue. He tasted salt in the back of his throat again and tried to hold back the tears that threatened. He was bone weary with crying, felt like he had been crying for decades.

It was coming up to December and Christmas. By now he would usually be planning his shopping, deciding which stores he needed to visit, what to buy his mom, his dad, and his sister. Harley had known his way around the mall and had taken Jared to the right shops without even being told. Everywhere they went people knew them, petting the dog, chatting to Jared, the whole mall alive with music, chatter and laughter.

This year Harley wouldn’t be there; he wouldn’t go into the diner and have pieces of bacon handed sneakily over to him by Gen who worked behind the counter. This year they wouldn’t visit the pet shop or buy chestnuts from the vendor in the square, this year Jared would be alone, really alone and it hurt more than he had ever thought possible.

He accepted being blind; there was nothing he could do about it, he had no control over fate and, after all, he didn’t know any better. He learned how to put his hands on someone’s face, get a feel for what they might look like. He often ran his fingers across his mom’s skin, feeling the grooves there, which she laughed about and called _life lines_ (though his dad called them wrinkles). He would hold his baby niece and smell the sweet baby smell, bury his nose into her soft neck and listen to her giggle. He had learned his life through smell, touch, sound and taste and he had been happy with that. Harley had helped him, gotten him out when he was young and shy. Harley had given him something to talk about, something to concentrate on. He had helped him find the library, the swimming baths and, as he grew older, the bars. He was used to being one of two and now, now he wasn’t and he didn’t think he could face the world without his best friend.

He bit his lip; he knew it was late, he’d heard the clock in the lounge strike six and the weak sunlight that came with winter no longer played its warm fingers across his forehead and cheeks. He knew he was facing the study window, the garden beyond it. His dad had scattered Harley’s ashes there, _’an appropriate memorial to a pet’_ he’d said, but Jared knew that Harley had been so much more than that.

****

Jensen opened the kennel carefully and the German Shepard came eagerly towards him, her brown eyes fixed hopefully on his face. She was small for her breed but she was definitely hardy. Her long tail thumped on the floor as he tickled behind her ears and she licked his face.

“Hey, Sadie.” He petted her. “How’s it going?”

She looked at him with her head to one side as if she understood him and he laughed, petting her again.

Sadie’s owner had died two months ago; he had been elderly and it had been expected but the dog hadn’t known that. For the first two weeks she had hardly eaten, pining for the man who she had looked after for nearly six years. Finally he got her to eat and then she let him take her out for walks. She was quiet, obedient and gentle and she would be an asset to anyone but she was older than most and not many families wanted an older dog.

Jensen smiled to himself; a dog who had lost her owner, an owner who had lost his dog. They might be a match made in heaven or he might just get his ass kicked. Still he prided himself as someone who knew about these things and, as he picked up the phone, he was determined to make this work for Sherri’s sake.

****

“Mom wants you to eat,” it was his sisters’ voice, insistent. “We’re having guests after dinner.”

“Not hungry.” He shook his head and hid beneath his hair. He kept it long although he had no idea quite how long it was now. As he rubbed his hand over his chin he realized that it had been days, possibly weeks since he had shaved and he must look like a vagrant sitting here scruffy and smelly.

He wished he could bring himself to care.

“You’re not five!” Megan was angry, he knew that tone and he felt the pull of her hands on his arm, the dig of nails into his skin through his shirt. “Come and eat, mom even made your favorite burgers. She’s worried about you Jay, we all are.”

“Okay, Okay.” He felt a flush across his cheeks. “I’ll come eat, but I’m not meeting any guests.”

“They wouldn’t want to meet you.” He heard Megan sniff. “You stink!”

“Thanks.” He got to his feet, hands reaching almost automatically for Harley’s lead, his fingers shaking as he realized, again, that it wasn’t’ there. 

“Let me.” His sister grabbed his arm and guided him forward. He was still shaking, his eyes stinging again. He hated this, being so reliant on others, treated like he was frail. “And it’s your own fault.” Megan obviously read minds. “If you let mom get you another dog you wouldn’t have to rely on me to help you around.”

“I-I . . . .” His throat hurt and he wanted to cry again. He dug his fingernails into the fleshy palm of his hand and shook his head. “How can I ever find another dog like Harley?” It burst out of him. “He wasn’t just my dog, Meggie. He was my best friend.”

“I know that, Jared,” she replied, her voice was close to his ear and he felt the warmth of her breath on his neck. “But you need to . . . you need to get on with your life now.”

He broke then; burying his head into her silky hair and sobbing fitfully; he felt as if he were five again weeping over skinned knees.

Afterwards he felt better; suddenly he was hungry, his stomach growling. He could hear the delight in his mom’s voice when he ate whatever was put in front of him. He was in the middle of another burger when the doorbell rang and he heard the squeak of his mom’s shoes on the floor as she got up. He could almost feel her excitement and he reached beneath the table to clutch at his sister’s hand, a sudden tinge of anticipation in his gut.

****

“Hi.” Jensen stood at the door with a small dog by his side. Sherri stared at them both with her heart in her mouth and she bit her lip. He seemed to sense her anxiety because he smiled and gestured to the dog. “This is Sadie,” he said. “She lost her owner and she really needs a new one.”

Sherri was silent for a long moment and then she bent down and patted the dog’s head, hope beginning to bloom in her heart.

“Do you think . . . ,” she began and Jensen gave her a hopeful grin.

“She’s a lovely dog,” he said as if that was enough and Sherri stood back to let them inside.

“He’ll be in the study,” she said, finally. “I’ll let you know when he’s ready.”

**** 

Jensen walked down the long hall, Sadie trotting obediently next to him. He paused at the study door and wondered what he might find inside. He knew that Jared was in mourning for his dog and he knew he had to tread carefully. He took a deep breath and gave the dog a little pat.

“Come on girl,” he whispered. “We can do this. We can really, really do this.”

The room was dark and Jensen could just make out the rigid figure of a man sitting beside the huge picture window. Moonlight flickered across his face and his hands were tense on the arms of the chair. As Jensen got closer he could see the man a little clearer, see his long untidy hair, his face hidden under a scruff of beard. The man must have heard him because he turned suddenly and Jensen had to catch his breath as he saw just how beautiful this man really was. Despite the beard and the too long hair he could see the man’s fine cheekbones and wide mouth. His eyes were bright and it was hard to believe he couldn’t see. They slanted exotically below sweeping brows and Jensen had to stop himself from really staring, remembering what he was here for.

“Hey,” he said, softly and the man turned a little more so that he was facing Jensen, a frown denting the skin between his brows.

“Mom seemed excited you were here,” the man said, his voice rough. “You’re the guy she went to see the other day.”

“That’s me.” Jensen moved closer. “Jensen – Jensen Ackles. I-I brought someone to meet you.” He tugged Sadie closer and let her settle beneath the man’s big hand. “This is Sadie,” he said.

The man gave a startled gasp as his fingers connected with Sadie’s soft head and tangled in her fur. She gave a contented sigh and snuggled into the touch instantly.

“What sort of dog is she?” The man’s voice held real curiosity now.

“She’s a German Shepard.”

“She’s very small for her breed.” The man’s fingers were still petting Sadie.

“Yeah, runt of the litter but she’s really intelligent and extremely well trained.”

“Why doesn’t she have an owner?”

“Her owner died,” Jensen kept his voice steady. “And she was brought to the center in the hope we might re-home her. She has been pining, she needs a home.”

“I lost my dog,” the man’s voice was low, sad. “But I guess my momma told you that.”

“She told me a few things.” Jensen didn’t want to build his hopes up but he watched as Sadie moved closer and rested her head on the man’s thigh. “She is worried about you, all your family are worried about you.”

“I know,” the man said and swallowed. “I’m Jared, by the way,” he said, belatedly and he put his other hand out then. “Do you think I could take her lead for a minute.”

“Please do.” Jensen couldn’t help but punch the air in triumph. “Why don’t you take her for a week or so, give her a trial,” he huffed a laugh. “You seem made for each other.”

“Could I?” Jared’s mouth curved into a hopeful little smile. “I really didn’t want another dog but . . . .”

“Sadie didn’t want another owner either.” Jensen laughed then, relief flooding through him. “But it seems she’s taken to you.”

“I - yeah, I’d like to look after her for a while.” Jared turned his face to Jensen and smiled wider. “Thanks. Really - thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Jensen swallowed, he looked at Jared again, at his hopeful face, his wide smile, the sudden brightness of his expression. “Maybe I could come back in a week or so, see how you are getting on.”

“I’d like that.” Jared rose to his feet; he was tall and slender but he had broad shoulders and long, long legs. Jensen swallowed, guilty at having such inappropriate thoughts about a client. “Yeah – we’d both like that wouldn’t we girl?”

And Sadie, bless her, yipped an affirmative.

****

Sherri rejoiced at the change in her son. 

The new dog, Sadie, fitted in with the family as if she had been there the whole time. Soft, gentle and affectionate, she made herself at home and immediately attached herself to Jared. She slept on top of his bed at night, sat at his feet during the day and tugged at him when she needed feeding, watering or taking out. She might be quiet but she was determined and after a few days Jared was walking her, leaving the house for the first time since Harley died.

Sherri rang Jensen to tell him the good news and he sounded pleased, promising to come and visit as soon as he was able. Sherri realized she owed this young man a lot and was already planning on inviting him to their annual Christmas party, her mind working sneakily as she thought what a nice boyfriend he would make for Megan.

****

Jared knew he owed Jensen Ackles his life.

Thanks to the man who had brought him Sadie he was starting to live normally again, the pain of loss fading with every passing day. 

Jared couldn’t help but wonder what Jensen looked like; wonder if he was older like his parents or young like his sister. He knew Jensen had a nice voice, deep and low, slurry Texan vowels making him sound – well – sexy. Jared flushed at that thought. He hadn’t ever been that interested in the girls that his mom insisted on _throwing_ at him over the years but now, now he was VERY interested in Jensen and it scared and excited him in equal measure.

Jensen was coming back to check on Sadie and Jared was determined to make an effort. He had been wallowing in self-pity for far too long and, although he wouldn’t ever stop missing Harley, he had Sadie to consider now and he really wanted to tell Jensen how grateful he was.

Megan laughed when he asked her to trim his hair and shave him. He was capable of shaving himself but he wanted to look extra good so he figured Megan would make a better job of it. He got her to choose his outfit too and he hoped that she wouldn’t suspect why he was making such an effort.

Jensen might be old, he might be fat, he might be bald but Jared didn’t care. He owed Jensen a lot and he just wanted - he just wanted everything to be perfect.

Sadie barked happily when the study door opened and Jared knew, instinctively, that it was Jensen. He got to his feet, Sadie’s head under his hand as she guided him to the door.

“Hey.” He found himself flushing, knowing that his cheeks must be red by now, that thought making him flush even more. “It’s good that you could come.”

“No problem,” Jensen’s voice sounded rough and it made him shiver involuntarily. “You two look as if you were made for each other,” he laughed then and Jared felt his own mouth curve in a smile.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” he blurted out, “for bringing her here.”

“As I said,” Jensen sounded even happier as he replied. “No problem. Um – why don’t you show me how well you get on by getting her to lead us for a coffee,” his voice shook a little. “If you’d like.”

“Yeah.” Jared’s heart thumped harder and Sadie vibrated beneath his fingers. “That sounds cool.” And with that he was snapping on the dog’s lead and reaching for his coat. “Let’s go,” he said.

****

Jensen couldn’t stop staring at Jared. He felt a bit of a creep but it was hard to stop, Jared had been beautiful before but now he was positively perfect. 

The beard had hidden a square jaw and dimpled chin; the over long hair had been trimmed back and was clean, a thick chestnut brown. Under his coat Jared’s shoulders were broad and Jensen’s mouth watered at the thought of touching them, guilt stabbing him as he realized how inapt that thought was.

 

He had learned long ago not to think of physically disabled people as fragile or needy and, at 6ft 5inches tall, Jared was hardly either of these things but there was something tantalizingly delicate about him; he was ethereal, other-worldly and it made Jensen want to protect him, wrap himself around him and never let go.

He had never felt like this about anybody in his entire life before, never wanted to hold, to touch. He was certain it would be considered inappropriate to date a _client_ but he wanted to, wanted to so much. He glanced again at the man by his side and sighed; fate could be a bastard at times, he mused.

 

They settled in a booth, cheeks glowing from the sudden warmth. Sadie lay down beneath the table, her head resting on her paws, eyes closed as Jared petted her. Jensen ordered hot chocolate with all the trimmings, aware that their waitress was giving Jared hopeful glances not actually knowing that he couldn’t see her. Jensen felt a stab of sympathy then, wondering how Jared really felt about his blindness, wondering if he were ever sad, or envious of those who could see.

“What do you look like?” Jared’s question came out of the blue. “I mean. . . .” His cheeks were pinker now and he bit his lower lip. “Sorry,” he added. “I didn’t mean to be so up front.”

“S’okay.” Jensen licked his lips. “I’m tall, not as tall as you, but pretty tall. I work out and go swimming so I’m not too chubby.” He laughed then. “I have hair and eyes.” He shrugged and Jared laughed, a deep throaty chuckle. “What else do you need to know?”

“How old are you?” Jared’s face was deep puce now, his teeth all but buried in his lower lip. “I . . . shit, this sounds so bad.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jensen’s heart soared. “I’m thirty-four,” he said. “A little older than you but . . . .”

“I’m thirty.” Jared broke into an even wider smile then. “So not a huge gap.” He reached down and petted the dog again. “Jensen – um, look I’m not too good at this because I’ve never . . . but if . . . I mean could we go out sometime? Not just to a diner, but maybe for a meal o-or something. I know mom is gonna’ ask you to our Christmas party but . . . ,” he chuckled. “She sees you as a date for Megan while I . . . ,” his voice faltered and then he huffed a breath, determined. “I sorta’ hoped - .”

“Yeah.” Jensen let all thoughts of the date being unsuitable or inappropriate fly out of his head, his heart definitely ruling in this instance. “Yeah, I’d love to go for a meal with you – when?” He burst out laughing then and, to his relief, Jared joined in, his big hand coming up to rest on Jensen’s, warm and reassuring.

“Tomorrow?” He asked, hopefully.

“Oh, yeah.” Jensen beamed, hoping his eagerness, and his happiness was coming across somehow. “Tomorrow sounds just fine.”

****

Jared had always told Harley everything and it appeared that Sadie was also a good listener. He talked quietly to her as he got ready for his date, putting on the clothes Megan had picked out for him the night before. He had heard the happiness in her voice as she had gotten the things out for him and he felt another tingle of excitement as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. 

He couldn’t see but sometimes he could try to imagine. He hadn’t ever been able to see so he had nothing to guide him, nothing to help him but he tried, tried so hard to picture Jensen in his head. He had heard words like pretty, handsome, beautiful and perfect used to describe human beings and he wondered if any of them could be used to describe Jensen.

“He’s hot,” Megan said with a giggle. “And clearly into you.” She bent nearer and he could smell her perfume, feel the soft brush of her hair. “Does mom know that you might be gay?” She whispered.

Jared flushed feeling hot and stupid. “I don’t know if I am gay,” he stated

“You like Jensen, don’t you?”

“I-I think so.” He licked his lips. “He . . . he seems so nice.”

“He is nice.” Megan was giggling again. “You should go for it.”

And Jared couldn’t help but agree.

****

Jensen had never really been on a date where there was a chaperone before but now he sat in one of his favorite steak houses with Jared facing him and Sadie drooling happily at his feet, her eyes hopeful as Jared fed her chunks of medium rare under the table.

It was bliss.

They hadn’t stopped talking since they sat down; now he was happier, getting his confidence back, Jared was a great companion. He was intelligent and had a great sense of humor. Sure he was quieter than a lot of Jensen’s dates and he was a little shy too but that only served to make Jensen like him more and he just didn’t want the date to end.

Jared seemed to think the same way; he dragged out the meal as long as he could, ordering desert, coffee and a bottle of wine. Finally, they had to go as the steakhouse was closing and they were the last patrons inside. Jensen noticed that Jared was a little unsteady on his feet and his face was flushed. 

Sadie huffed as she nimbly avoided Jared’s boots; he leaned in a little, his hand resting lightly on Jensen’s shoulder, the other clutching loosely at Sadie’s lead. Jensen was delighted at this turn of events, his shoulder warm where Jared was touching it, his heart beating a tattoo of excitement.

“You saved me.” Jared stated; teeth white, dimples deep within his cheeks. “I was drowning in a sea of self-pity and you saved me.”

“It’s understandable.” Deep down Jensen felt pride warring with all the other emotions Jared seemed to be lighting within him. “Harley was like a family member.” He squeezed Jared’s arm. “I understand, I do.” He swallowed. “My own sister has limited sight,” he added. “She has a dog too, and she loves him so much.”

“I didn’t know.” Jared turned so that he was facing Jensen; the two of them had stopped now, crisp cool air biting at their skin, leafless trees giving them little shelter. There was no one on the sidewalk and Jensen could see nothing but those beautiful eyes, eyes that would never see him, eyes that would never see how much Jensen liked Jared, how fond he was becoming of this man he had met only three times, a man he would like to keep in his life.

Jensen licked his lips; he put both hands gently on Jared’s shoulders, moving slow and careful so as not to spook him. He heard Jared take a deep intake of breath and then Jared leaned into him and, without preamble, their lips met. 

The kiss was gentle, tentative, Jared’s mouth opening to him shyly, and their tongues tangling together. Jared was trembling, little shudders that made his whole body shake. Jensen deepened the kiss and Jared went with it, his arms wrapping around Jensen’s neck, a little squeak from Sadie telling Jensen that the hand holding the lead was also gripping onto him.

“Hey.” He reluctantly broke the kiss. “Sadie’s getting a little tangled there.”

“Sorry.” Jared was panting but he was smiling too, cheeks pink. “I-I’ve never done this before.”

“What? Kissed?” Jensen liked this look on Jared, flushed, tousled, and happy.

 

“I’ve never kissed a man.” Jared shook his head. “And I’ve never kissed like it meant something.”

“Does this mean something then?” He couldn’t hold back hope. Jared was smiling wider now.

“It means a lot,” he whispered and Jensen was lost.

****

Jared could feel Jensen against him.

His breath was warm on his face, the scrape of his stubble rough and unfamiliar. Jared had kissed girls before and it had been nothing like this. This was different, it was almost overwhelming, and the feelings that zipped through him were like nothing he had ever felt before.

Jensen’s hair was soft, short in the nape of his neck, and he smelt like the most exotic spices. Jared clung to him, hardening in his jeans, the full punch of what was happening making his heart beat faster, his skin tingle.

“I have an apartment not far from here,” Jensen’s voice was low in his ear. “I don’t want you to think I’m moving too fast, but we could go there,” he breathed out and Jared shuddered. “If you’d like.”  
He nodded; he could call his mom to stop her from worrying and anyway she trusted Jensen, she liked him. He was thirty now, nearly thirty-one and he should be able to spread his wings. He put a shaking hand down and patted Sadie’s soft head. Jensen had brought him Sadie and he owed Jensen so much and he wanted this, he wanted this badly.

“I . . . this would be more than just a one-night-stand-thing, right?” His voice wavered and he felt Jensen’s hand on his arm, firm, warm and reassuring, fingers tight.

“Oh yes.” Jensen’s tone was laced with laughter, joy, full of hope and longing. “This is something I want to last.”

“Are we moving too fast?” He got a moment of concern, of panic. He had been cared for all of his life and now, now he wanted to break free of his family and fly. “I know your sister is - but you know, in the long term . . . .”

“I want you, all of you and I want you just as you are,” Jensen sounded so determined it made him want to jump for joy. “You are something special, Jared and I want to get to know you so much better.”

Jared patted Sadie’s head and smiled, hoping he was conveying everything he felt just about now.

“Let’s go,” he whispered. “I’d like to get to know you better too.”

****

It was always awkward in a new place; Jared stumbled a little still partially wasted on beer and unfamiliar with the room. Jensen caught him and they both laughed. Jared thought he might feel uncomfortable but Jensen made him feel at ease.

Sadie was given a bowl of milk and a few slices of ham and Jared had to laugh at how easily she was won over. When the dog was settled Jensen took him by the hand and led him along the hall into his bedroom.

Jared was helped onto the bed gently; he felt Jensen’s hands on his face and then they were kissing again. For a moment Jared wished he could see Jensen, really see him, see how _hot_ he really was.

He heard the rustling of material and he realized that Jensen was taking off his clothing. Jared swallowed down nerves.

“I-I’ve never done this before,” he whispered. “With anyone.”

He heard Jensen’s gasp and then he felt his hand being tugged so he rose up a little letting Jensen guide him.

“ _See me, Jared_ ” Jensen was close now and Jared could smell the distinct scent that would always make him think of this moment. “Touch me.”

Jensen pulled his hand down so that it smoothed along that broad chest, stroked over taut nipples and then down over a slightly rounded belly. Jared’s own cock began to harden again as he felt his fingers brush against Jensen’s obvious erection. 

“This is how much I want you, Jared. Can I touch you too?”

Jared nodded; he fumbled quickly with his own buttons pulling his shirt off clumsily. Jensen laughed softly and began to help him; firm fingers on his fly, tugging off his jeans and socks, pushing him down again so that his head hit the pillow. Jensen was kissing him again and running his hands up and down Jared’s shaking body. He felt hot all over and he swore he could _see_ lights dancing behind his eyes. He had never experienced anything like this in his life and his body felt as if it would explode with pleasure; Jensen over him, around him, kissing him and caressing him.

“Can I - ?” Jensen’s fingers touched his thighs and moved slowly upwards. Jared gasped as a blunt tip grazed his entrance and Jensen shushed him, kissing him again, “We don’t have to,” he said. “There are so many things I can show you.”

“No.” Jared was trembling with desire now, his ass actually aching, his cock so hard he thought it might break. “No. I want all of you, Jensen. This is what living is all about. I’ve always wanted someone to love me like this and yeah, we’re moving fast but who cares? Life is short and I want to life it to the full.”

After that it was like a blur; Jensen’s hands and mouth on his skin. Jensen preparing him with confidence, taking it so slowly that Jared thought he might burst with frustration. Finally, Jensen was inside of him and it was painful and then it wasn’t and he felt full, so full, and then he couldn’t think rationally anymore and it was all about the feelings, all about the urge to come, his orgasm taking him by surprise. Jensen’s voice in his ear telling him how wonderful he was, how precious, how special.

Jared _saw_ fireworks.

****

He lay on his back, sunlight warm across his skin. Beside him Jensen was snoring softly and he rolled towards the noise, feeling a firm chest beneath his cheek. He buried his face in the juncture between Jensen’s neck and shoulder and sniffed. Jensen smelt of sweat, spice and something else sweet and personal. Jared kissed his skin, his heart pounding; the sensations from last night were flooding back through his body making him hot, hardening again, his stomach clenching.

“Hey,” Jensen’s voice rumbled making his chest vibrate. “You’re not laying there with any regrets, are you?”

“No.” Jared shook his head. “No regrets.”

There was a whimper and Sadie moved from her position at the bottom the bed, sniffling.

“Then take that dog of yours out, and I’ll make breakfast.” Jensen’s fingers tangled through his hair. “And then we’ll get you home before your momma comes after me with a shotgun.”

“I’m gonna have to tell her.” Jared’s mouth felt dry at the very thought. “Eventually.”

“She’ll say we’re moving too fast and she’ll be shocked but it’ll all be okay,” Jensen sounded confident. “Your mom is cool, Jared. She cares about you, and she just wants you to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Jared snuggled closer, ignoring Sadie’s insistent paws. “I never thought I could feel like this. I feel like I could conquer the world.”

“You think we can make a go of it, then?” Jensen’s question was light but Jared heard enough to know he was serious.

“Oh yeah!” He couldn’t hold back his own delight. “I think we can.”

****

Sherri poured out the sparkling wine and made sure that everything in the living room was perfect. The tree, a real pine, was festooned with lights that filled the corner with red and yellow sparkles. Tinsel glittered tastefully from the ceiling and there were fairy lights hung around the door frame, and on the trees outside too.

She heard the patter of paws on the linoleum and she turned to see Sadie standing there, Jared behind her his big hand on her back, a dimpled smile lighting up his face.

She had never guessed that her son may be gay and, at first, she had been shocked, horrified almost but, as Jared’s happiness was paramount to her, she had soon come around. She had liked Jensen from the very first moment she had met him and without his help, she was convinced, Jared wouldn’t be in the place he was right now.

Sadie hadn’t replaced Harley and she knew her son still mourned for the big dog that had been his constant companion, but she also knew he had fallen in love with the little German Shepard. She was also aware that he had fallen in love with Jensen too, and the three of them were virtually inseparable. 

She also realized that it was time to let Jared go; he wanted to fly the nest and she had to give him his wings to do so. Jensen reassured her that he would care for Jared, that he would make sure Jared was happy. Jensen had also confessed to her that he had only just _come out_ to his own family and that he had done so to prove just how serious he was about her son.

She was sad of course, because she adored Jared and had been used to having him close but it was time for him to make his way in the world and, with Jensen by his side, she was confident he would.

****

Jared couldn’t see the tree but he could smell the pine, feel its prickly branches. Jensen was waxing lyrical about how glittery it was, how full the branches were and, eventually, he had to shut him up by kissing him silent. 

It was a wonderful idea.

His mom’s Christmas party was in full swing; the music vibrated through him and he found himself swaying in Jensen’s arms, the two of them giggling like teenagers, Sadie dancing around their feet yipping excitedly.

After Christmas he would be leaving home and moving in with Jensen. It was a whole new adventure and he couldn’t wait.

When he had lost Harley he had thought he had lost everything, he had been certain that his life was over. Now he realized that everything happens for a reason and he was certain that his beloved dog had led him to Jensen.

Life was always going to be a challenge but he was ready to rise to it, to take on whatever fate threw at him. He had Sadie now and, most importantly, he had Jensen and together they were going to take on the world.

End


End file.
